Category: December 2019

December 2019, January 2020

Ringing Out the Old and Ringing In the New

by amysaxons

As December slips into January, there is a distinct sense that, like a snake who sheds its skin, one can somehow shed themselves of their outgrown (sometimes quite literally 😉), unwanted self for the skin of a fresh, new hope and beginning. I suppose some people might feel this way on their birthday, but birthdays are typically associated with wishes, not resolutions.

This past year started with one of the largest, deepest dives into the underworld of MS that I have experienced thus far. There were times I felt like I didn’t have the breath to hang on until I broke the surface for a life-infusing gasp of even a few good hours strung together. I wrote about this experience back in February in my very first blog post, The Ocean. As hard as it was to get through, the benefit was intimately feeling the presence and comfort of God in profound ways hitherto unknown to me. I didn’t make a resolution for 2019 to be a year of spiritual growth, but as a direct result of how hard it was, it turned out to be exactly that. 

Resolutions denote a need for a change and a conscious effort to make the change happen. I’ve made a few New Year’s resolutions over the course of my life with varying degrees of success. They have always been about things over which I have control, like losing a few pounds, exercising more, being more circumspect about what I say, reading more and watching less TV…the usual stuff.

This year, 2020, marks my 30th anniversary of living with MS. After my initial diagnosis, and except for a couple of relapses, the first 10 years were relatively, blissfully easy.  I had absolutely no concept of what it would eventually be like to live with MS as my daily parasitic sidekick. Sometimes, even now, it still surprises me by how far down its tentacles have reached into my life.  

Most gratefully, as 2019 progressed, I recovered enough to have some good days sown in among the bad. This too was a lesson from God about gratitude and hope.

The lessons learned and the spiritual growth God has blessed me with will serve as a lifeline, like pure oxygen, to whatever the New Year throws at me. So, I resolve to take each day of 2020 as it comes, resting upon the One who created time but is not bound by it.

I hope you take the time to look back over your experiences of 2019 with a view to how God has worked in your life. If you don’t see Him there, then there’s no better time to invite Him to share not only 2020 with you but the rest of your life! Get in contact with me and I will gladly help you get started.

May God be with you in the new year, my friends!

December 2019

Merry Christmas

by amysaxons

As daylight fades, I keep catching glimpses of the twinkling lights of our Christmas tree when I swivel our rocker-recliner just so. Somehow, the lights illuminate tidbits of childhood Christmases past, as if they were photographs: Grandma Lois hanging our presents on the tree like her parents did when she grew up in North Dakota in the early 1900s; our stockings hung on the mantle containing an orange stuffed in the toe; cutting out and decorating sugar cookies with Mom and my sisters; stringing popcorn with a needle and thread to hang on the tree; putting together 1000 piece puzzles with everyone; playing hand after hand of Dummy Rummy with our grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins; and playing my favorite carol, “Silver Bells” over and over from the only Christmas album my Dad had through his furniture-size stereo.  Of course, I was always excited to see what presents I got and can remember some special gifts, but my best memories are always of the special traditions and people who shared their Christmases with me.

Although many of these special people in my life are now gone, they live on in my memories. Todd and I have made our own Christmas traditions and have found joy in sharing our families with each other. The way Christmas looks through these 49 year old eyes is very different from the way they innocently gazed in wonder and excitement when I was a child.

Gratefully, although I didn’t know it at the time, I was learning the most important lesson of the holiday; it’s the people that matter. Grandparents, parents, siblings, aunts, uncles, nieces, nephews, cousins, in-laws, friends…whoever you share this season with. And, just as it should be every single day of our lives, not just the 25th of December, it’s about Christ and the gift He gave so that we might have life…Himself.

Merriest of Christmases to you and yours!
❤️

December 2019

Life On the Boil

by amysaxons

Somehow, every time I steam vegetables on the stove I manage to get busy with other meal prep work and look away at the exact moment the water starts to foam and boil over. It leaves an icky, mucky mess on our glass stovetop that requires a lot of elbow grease to clean up.

The entire month of December can sort of feel like this, too much to do and not enough time and energy to do it all. Pageants, musicals, parties, decorating, cooking, shopping, wrapping, organizing, traveling… the list is endless and it comes on top of our usual work, church, and family duties. In an effort to create and maintain memorable traditions with our children, family, and friends, it seems we overextend ourselves. Stress begins to boil over, taking away the joy of the season and making us feel like a mess on the inside.

These days, Christmas or not, many people choose to live their lives set on a constant boil.  Every spare moment of time is filled with activity and on the go.  I don’t want to leave the impression that it’s wrong or bad to have a full calendar. I suppose I used to do that too when I still could.  It felt good to be busy with school and church activities, going to the movies or hanging out at a friend’s house, attending concerts, having dinner out, or just riding around town with my best pals.  It was fun being away from home and it felt as if I was seizing the opportunity to really get my money’s worth out of every moment of life.

I don’t want to go back and change much about that time in my life, except that I wish I would have weeded out some of the empty, self-indulgent things I did in a mindless effort to keep life bubbling away. Instead, I would have benefited from some unfilled moments so I could study, reflect, and work on my relationship with God.

Thanks to MS, I rarely live life on the boil anymore. Most of my days are somewhere between a long, slow, gentle simmer and stone cold. Amazingly, just as with food, there is as much nourishment and fullness in life whether it’s served hot off the boil, warm from a good simmer, or cold straight out of the fridge.

On most days, I am glad life has slowed down. It has allowed for me to boil life down to the essentials instead of life boiling me down. Yes, sometimes it’s true that I would like to have a bit more boil and a little less cold, but the joys of life can be savored either way.

My wish for you this holiday season is that you purposely carve out some quiet time to grow your relationship with God. You likely won’t find Him in the chaotic, hectic, hubbub of festivities, but in the quiet stillness of a holy night about 2000 years ago.