June 2020 – Amy's Axons

I didn’t know MS recruited, but it seems that it recently acquired the mythical legend Hercules to it’s dark side. I guess he took a shine to my electric toothbrush because it certainly feels like I am in an all-out, do or die wrestling match against some kind of superhuman force the entire two minutes it runs. Oral hygiene shouldn’t require a 10 minute power nap to recover from, right? It’s been so long since I’ve experienced “normal” energy that I can’t remember.

Anywho… despite insipid fatigue, life has crept quite happily along. Because I have the best hubby and sister in the world, they each drove ten hours both ways (!) so I could spend a week staying with my sister in Texas. We didn’t do anything or go anywhere because CV-19 is crazy in Austin at the moment, but we had fun anyway and I love spending time with them all.

I helped my nephew study for his permit.

I sewed a toy for their new puppy, K.C. Yep, they are die hard Chiefs fans 🏈

My bro-in-law shared his addiction to these cookies with me 😋.

Not to be outdone, my sister opened my eyes to this tasty delight 😋.

(L-R) chocolate, raspberry-white chocolate cheesecake, red velvet, lemon.

Other than having to start a diet when I got home, everything else fell back into place like I had never left. I still have the sweetest hubby and cats one could ask for and the birds are as photogenic as ever. Oh, and a squirrel has found the feeders. He’s cute now but he probably won’t be if he decides to invite his friends.

Look how long the nuthatch’s beak is! They are easy to identify because they do everything upside down.

A few days have been nice enough I have been able to spend time outside, but heat and MS don’t mix so I’ve been indoors a lot more than I would like. I’ve had extra entrenched primary MS fatigue which has made it hard to do much. (Primary fatigue is thought to be due to nerve messages from your brain and spinal cord having to navigate the areas of damage caused by your MS. It takes more energy to send and deliver messages to other parts of the body, like the muscles in your arms and legs, causing a build-up of fatigue. – mstrust.org.uk). However, it feels good to be back home and I have books that need reading, shows that need watching, puzzles that need putting together, music that needs listening to, and apps that need playing.

Stay safe and God be with you!

The whole world is mad enough to chew nails and spit rivets at each other. The wildfire of anxiety already fueled by a viral pandemic and financial hardships has roared into an inferno fanned by outrage over racial injustice. Add all of this to an overly politicized, deeply divided, radically idealized, and seemingly diabolicaly opposed Left and Right presidential election year and, voila, here we are. McCarthyism (“The practice of making unfair allegations or using unfair investigate techniques, especially in order to restrict dissent or political criticism.” – Dictionary.com) turned into Cancel Culture (“The popular practice of withdrawing support for public figures and companies after they have done or said something considered objectionable or offensive.” Dictionary.com). Unsurprisingly, we (collectively as humans) have learned absolutely nothing from God or history on how to get along with each other. Like sheep, we’ve all gone astray. The only difference between us and sheep is that we like to point and call out the wrong courses everyone else has taken, but never look back at our own errors.

As a result, I’ve been rationing my news intake and limiting my time on social media platforms. I can’t take all the lava-hot words and vitriol spewing out of the mouths on all sides of the world’s current, self-inflicted problems. I don’t know how to heal or even understand the differences of opinion and the vast chasms that seem to lie between the logic and thinking of some of us. So, with that admission, what can I do? I have been and will continue to lay them down at my Father’s feet. He is the answer to everything, always. God excels in doing what everyone says is impossible.

I’m doing the same on a personal level. While the huge fires of the world keep burning, so too do the little flames within my life. I’m sure you understand because we’re all the same. My personal fire is called MS but yours might be named such things as Furloughed, Job, Money, Stress, Anger, Divorce, Death, Parent, Child, Spouse, Cancer, Diabetes, Aging… just about anything, really. For me, MS is constantly melting away tiny pieces of my own sovereignty. It’s very difficult to let go of the things in life that make you feel like you have some control, such as driving, shopping, cooking, and walking.

In much the same way that I realize I can’t put out the MS fire in my own life and deal with the destruction it leaves in it’s wake on my own, we, as a nation and even world, must understand we will have to work collectively to bring the flames of our society back under control. The solution will not be conceived in fear of an unseen germ, worry over the next great depression, or riots that break our neighbors’ windows and loot their livelihoods because of injustice. No, if it could then we would already have the answer. The fix is to be found in love. The kind of love the apostle Paul described in I Corinthians 13:4-7, the sort God has for us. His love is patient, kind, happy for others instead of envious, lifts others up instead of boasting about self, is well mannered instead of rude, seeks the good of others instead of self, is slow to anger, keeps no records of wrongs, delights in holiness instead of evil, rejoices in the truth instead of sensationalism, always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres.

I realize what I am about to say is very Pollyannish of me, but… If every person would recognize the truthfulness and wisdom of this type of love and make it their own personal goal to practice it, without policing others and how they are doing as they attempt to do the same, all the infernos of the world would simply burn themselves out. If only.