My Multiple Sclerosis has been a beast more days than not since my last post. I hate it and it hates me. I guess we’re even. Even so, life in these extraordinarily strange times has continued to flow on. Hubby is wrapping up grading finals this weekend and we’re both looking forward to him having a few weeks off before his summer schedule kicks off. He will be teaching from home again which makes me happy. It’s been so good to have human interaction during the day, even if it is just for short breaks between his classes.
Last week we joined what felt like half of our city in the parking lot of one of our area’s hospitals to see a B-2 Stealth Bomber fly over as a salute to the selflessness of our medical workers. I don’t know which I was more impressed with, the rare sight of two B-2s or the sense of unity and pride I felt seeing so many Americans come out to wave flags, clap, holler, and whistle as they flew over. To tell the truth, I’ve not felt much patriotism the last few years. Don’t get me wrong, I love my country and am grateful to be an American but the political tone and constant gamesmanship vomiting itself all over the media has not fanned the flames of my patriotic fervor. It felt good to see my fellow citizens come out in support of something that binds us together rather than tears us apart.
Hubby and I went to Target before the B-2s were scheduled to make their appearance. The line to check out snaked almost to the back of the store. It felt more like I was in line at an amusement park waiting to get to ride a new roller-coaster than the chance to buy toilet paper and Fruit Loops.
On the way home after the B-2s, this jacked up truck came roaring around us. I wonder what this guy is trying to compensate for with his huge muffler 🤔.
Speaking of compensations, one of the few (but best) I have from being immobilized on bad MS days is spending long hours with a snuggly cat tucked in my robe while sipping coffee.
I think being able to sit and watch nature from the comfort of my rocking chair on the back patio has not only kept me sane during endless days of forced rest, but has also given me something to look forward to. Here are a few snaps from my latest gallery of feathered friends…
I hope you and yours are both healthy and safe. God be with you!
Here I lie in bed at 3:15 in the afternoon with one cat under the covers between my knees and the other curled up in a ball against me. It’s been four days of pedal to the metal fatigue. My legs feel like they are made of lead and I can barely lift them to walk. This has resulted in an off-balance sort of shuffle more suited to some cartoon character than a human. Everything is in slow motion, even my thoughts and ability to understand what others say. My hands feel disconnected from my brain and my bladder is in a state of anarchy. Somehow, both of my calves think they are supposed to spasm and tighten into painful, twisted knots while the rest of the muscles in my legs become like jelly when I try to stand up.
It’s as if a rogue telephone operator came in during the night and pulled half the plugs in my brain and spine and, with maniacal glee, replugged them all higgledy-piggledy just to see what would happen.
It’s incredibly boring as well as frustrating not to be able to do the things I want to do. It dawned on me that even though you probably aren’t laid up in bed with fiendish MS like I am, you’re possibly bored and frustrated too. It’s hard to stay home and down for long stretches of time, especially when you don’t have a choice because of a nearly nationwide shutdown.
So, I’ll share with you what I keep having to tell myself in order to keep from going crazy. I apologize in advance if it sounds kinda bossy, but it’s the only way I can get my attitude in line. Can you relate? Anyway, here it is. “This won’t last forever, it will get better. It’s okay if you don’t like your current situation, but don’t dwell endlessly on it. A negative circumstance doesn’t give you carte blanche to be grumpy, so be nice despite everything.” If you are a Christian, then the last one is the most important one. “The One who is inside you is stronger than everything else. He has not abandoned you, He’s walking through this difficult time with you. In light of that fact, act like it and don’t forget it.”
Hi everyone, I hope you are healthy and virus free. I may not know your name, but I have been praying for everyone to make it through this this pandemic and the extensive economic impact related to the shutdowns it has caused.
Like so many others, Hubby and I are living under a stay at home order from both our county and city. Hubby teaches at a local community college and got an extra week’s worth of spring break while officials and tech got their ducks in a row. He will be teaching all of his classes online from home starting Monday. He’s been working hard to get ready since making a shift from seated Physics classes with labs to an online platform for both has taken a lot of prep and creative thinking. As always, my brilliant, hardworking guy has it all in hand and is ready to go.
Meanwhile, I’ve been labeled “vulnerable” and the only “essential” thing I can do is help prop up the local economy. Hubby has been pitching in and we’re taking our duty very seriously. For example, we’ve driven through Andy’s Frozen Custard on three occasions in the last couple of weeks for Thin Mint concretes.
The following is a collage of snapshots showing how we’ve been riding out this unprecedented time in history.
Hubby’s days have included cycling and projects and then more projects and cycling. Oh, and probably like everyone else, a lot of surfing of both the inter-web and channel varieties.
I’ve been hobbling along with Salonpas pads stuck all over my legs trying to get my MS related muscle spasms under control. I’ve also managed to get some sewing done, including the cat-themed wall art, with a bit of help from my two favorite felines. Our new house has a lovely patio out back and I have been been putting some miles on my new rocking chair, “See-Saw”, every chance I get!
A lot of time has been devoted to loving and being loved by, well, CATS.
I love to bake and have taken advantage of having my favorite taste-tester home with me every day. Scones, bread, muffins, biscuits–we have more bread and baked goods in our freezers than Panera!
What joy it has been this spring to watch the birds come to our feeder and move into the three birdhouses we have in our backyard! I have enjoyed snapping pictures of all the different varieties and then editing them. We have a pair of Eastern Bluebirds nesting in one house, sparrows in another, and juncos in the third.
We’ve had a mild, rainy spring and the trees and shrubs have started blooming and budding everywhere. It is beautiful to see all the colors painted across the landscape, whether rain or shine. As the back of our house faces due east, it’s been a treat to watch the sun’s orange glow as it spreads across the sky in the mornings. We added some color ourselves this week with a few flowers for the beds.
I hope you have been able to find joy despite the ‘Rona fear that has gripped the hearts and minds of the world. I encourage you to turn off the constant news feed and find a way to enjoy the people in your home and your surroundings. Remember God’s promise after the flood, “As long as the earth endures, springtime and harvest, cold and heat, summer and winter, day and night will never cease” (Ge 8:22). It’s true, regardless of ‘Rona, springtime has come just like God promised. May we all live in the light of God’s promises, not in the darkness of the fears in the world.
As Covid-19 spreads and the race to flatten the curve accelerates, the restrictions and confinement many find imposed upon them sounds pretty much like everyday life to many of us living with Multiple Sclerosis or other debilitating diseases. We’re used to rarely leaving home unless someone else drives us, and filling endless hours by ourselves at home, day in and day out.
If you’ve started feeling stir crazy and like you’re under house arrest, the feeling will ease up somewhere around the end of the fourth or fifth week. It might take a little longer if you aren’t already a homebody. After you’ve finished all the projects around the house you’d been meaning to do but hadn’t gotten around to, you’ll enter phase two otherwise known as Netflix Binge Watching. This lasts only as long as either, A) you hit your own limit of slothfulness and drooling, and your once comfy jammies grow so tight your seams start to rip OR B) your loved ones can’t handle your funky odor, your cheese curl tainted fingertips, and having to preen Apple Jacks from your oily hair anymore. If you or a loved one have already entered Netflix Binge Watching take courage, phase three is all about self-improvement. You won’t be able to resist the urge to do something to better yourself after all that slovenliness. So, you’ll do something to make up for it, like trying to learn a new language, take up painting, try your hand at beekeeping, attempt to learn how to play an instrument…you get the idea. This is going to be a tricky one because this stage usually requires going out and spending a lot of money for all the bells and whistles required to do whatever kind of self-improvement you’ve chosen. Let’s hope Amazon doesn’t end up having to limit deliveries to nothing more than “essentials” just as you enter this phase of confinement. Hint: You may need to be mindful of this possibility and purposefully rush through the first two stages 😉.
At any rate, you’ll know you’ve reached the final step in accepting and adapting to your captivity when you wake up to a limited list of things to do but manage to accomplish them to the hum of some unbeknownst internal circadian rhythm. Everything just sort of falls into place and POOF, your day has passed without really knowing where it has gone.
Naturally, you’ll be glad when all this self-quarantine business is over and you can finally get back to your “normal” life. Shhh…you can then quietly but permanently shelve all those Portuguese workbooks and apps you bought a few weeks back and of which you never got past lesson two. Once your freedom to come and go as you please is restored, you won’t take for granted your reinstated liberty anymore. You’ll remember how it felt to be stuck at home for days on end with nowhere to go and nothing to do. Hopefully, that will be the closest you will ever get to understanding just a fraction of one component of what it’s like to live with MS.
There are actually a lot of others who, like me, have found themselves sequestered on a full-time basis owing to some disease. If you end up going through some or all of the stages I described above, I think you will come to a deeper appreciation of the strength required to live life within the confines of the same four walls day after day. Kudos to all my comrades who have the strength to go on living life to the fullest under difficult circumstances. I don’t know what the name of your kind of Strong is, but mine is MS Strong.