I tend to be a rule follower and a planner. I obey authority figures. I respect laws. I’m the annoying person who reads all the directions, twice. I look at maps before heading somewhere new. I lay out my clothes the night before and meal plan at least three days ahead. In other words, negative consequences are generally a sufficient deterrent to keep me on the straight and narrow. Well… almost always.
Sometimes a person has an obligation to disobey, and in a calculated, planned coup, rage against an authoritarian, oppressive regime, even if the result is certain defeat.
In this spirit, I make the following confession: I, Amy Renee, did purposely, and with a full understanding of the probable outcome, defiantly spend 15 minutes weeding the landscape in the front yard on the afternoon of April 27, in the year of our Lord, 2019.
Statement of Reason: The landscape was rife with nefarious weeds that had invaded upon my property. On the date in question, the sun was shining and the sky was a beautiful, clear blue which did beckon me forthwith to act upon the foreign invaders.
Defendant’s Previous History: The defendant has a long history, dating back 29 years, of rebellion against the established rule of law, specifically related to over exertion.
Sentence: As the indicted has, of her own admission, willfully and knowingly acted against the long-standing, acting, dictatorial powers of Multiple Sclerosis, she shall be sentenced to between three days to two weeks of excessive fatigue, difficulty walking independently, embarrassing clumsiness, and intermittent loss of bladder control.
The court would like to ask the defendant how long it will take her to learn her lesson. “Probably forever, your honor.” It certainly seems so. Court dismissed.